Knowing oneself is power. Knowing what causes a problem and fixing it are two different things. But if I am not able to look at myself, if I avoid any kind of self-analysis or self-awareness, then I will continue to make the same mistakes over and over and never know why. I am not able to change what I do not acknowledge. However, in order for me to know my options and possibilities I have to be in a setting that offers that perspective. In order for change to happen in a therapeutic milieu, a connection of some sort has to happen with the professional/worker. The need for a connection at the early stages of change is crucial since I do not know all my options and I do not know where to start when I am stuck. What I would do if I got stuck is to seek help where I could rely on my counsellor (if that is my choice of help) for guidance. Building trust, having compassion and empathy with another person will help me to open up and see my choices in the cycle of change. A few of the most important elements in establishing relationships are trust, empathy, and to understand where the person is coming from. All of which will improve my self-esteem and as a result, I will have the strength to follow through and feel good about my decisions. As soon as I have made the decision to change I do not have to “waste” my time to “think” about my problems, I have to take ownership of the problems and take action. I need to be brutally honest with myself and be able to admit that I am getting payoffs for destructive behaviour; hence a truthful confrontation is needed. Also, to keep myself on track and working toward my change, I have to maintain my inner self-talk and not fall back into old habits of negative thinking. Destructive thoughts such as feeling unworthy, or unable to devote the time to be successful can be replaced with gratitude. I do not believe change can happen in a vacuum or if you are isolated for long periods without meaningful connections with somebody. Talking to someone, over the phone or face to face, that have the right kind of compassion and empathy, will facilitate growth. Change is constant and I cannot diminish the small changes since they will help me to achieve and fulfill my goals later on in life.
My name is Annica Johansson and I am a Career and Talent Coach. I am writing about personal development, daily musings, spirituality and depicting mother nature's amazing beauty.