Start with giving yourself a break mentally and emotionally, stop beating yourself up for every little thing not going your way. Healthy Selfishness for me would be to take the float plan to IKEA and buy myself tons of Swedish treats but I will regret it afterwards as I did not struggle to get there this time (taking the ferry, drive in Vancouver, carry stuff, standing in line for the ferry back etc.). Sometimes I like to do it the hard way just to show myself how hard worker I am lol but that is taking the back seat the older I get. Having a great work ethic has always been one of my top values however I am becoming more relaxed about it.
I think having healthy selfishness is also about setting boundaries. When you stop validating yourself thru the eyes of others you are stepping into freedom living. We are not here to only please others, we are here to state our truth in a kind way and if the other person does not like the new and assertive you, then that is their problem, not yours. And giving jabs are a no no, practicing real communication where you have to be a little vulnerable is best otherwise you push them away.
Hopefully they will get back to you and open a new way of communicating as they can see you becoming stronger. It is not about being selfish, it is all about practicing healthy selfishness.
My name is Annica Johansson and I am a Career and Talent Coach. I am writing about personal development, daily musings, spirituality and depicting mother nature's amazing beauty.