I am starting a new painting routine. It kind of happened as I had to slow down my obsessive painting streak hehe. K and I had a very successful two days market where we sold 9 paintings and one commission, so that is success in my eyes. We are going to have an art garage sale in August to see how that goes and I have created an art gallery wall in the dining room. All of which is keeping me calm and no need to continue produce paintings in a rapid speed. I am currently working on a hydrangea painting and I am allowing myself to feel through it longer than usual and it is working, I love the process of art!
Take a moment to listen to your breath. Take a deep breath right now, hold it for five counts, release for five and inhale for five. Repeat. It will center you and your day will not be so reactive. There are many relaxation and calm apps out there which are making you to take a moment and just listen to what is going on around you (hopefully you are outside), Dissect the sounds, the cars, plane, sirens, birds, maybe some music, people running, deer in the forrest, people chatting, coffee smell. We are so busy with our own thoughts, mostly negative which is robbing us of simple enjoyments in life. Learn to let go...and then stop and listen.
I believe we all have the power to design our own lives. Life does not just happen, it starts with your thoughts, which leads to beliefs and behaviours which hopefully guides you to a plan of action. Listen to your ideas and thoughts (not the negative ones), the thoughts that is poking you to explore something new, maybe taking up some yoga, meditation or joining a hiking group. Follow that voice because that can lead to something really exciting. Listen to the whispers.
I have studied art, went to art school for a year, researched on YouTube to understand the mediums and how to blend the colours together. I have put in many hours to get somewhat good at what I am painting and it did not happen over night. Why I am saying this is that it requires WORK!! and putting in time and effort to be good at anything in life. Thinking you can wing it and see what happens will not make you a better artist, worker or whatever you are striving to be. It requires work! “Don't wish it was easier wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems wish for more skills." - Jim Rohn
I never understood the silent treatment and why people choose to use it. I have experienced my share of silent treatment in relationships and it is very toxic and very, very tiring to be around a person who is not open to communicating. I read an article today about the silent treatment and it triggered my memories on how controlling that behaviour truly is. The people using it are doing it on purpose and it is very manipulative behaviour and it is a huge waste of time.
Looking back I spent so much time beating myself up not being good enough but in hindsight, it was a form of emotional abuse and I always ended up apologizing after an argument which only built resentment long-term. Both parties have responsibilities in building a way to openly communicate and usually, there will be one person who will show the way on how to communicate, but shutting that down and not showing interest in growing together will only end up in heartbreak.
I can't avoid not doing stretches anymore. I usually stretch after a workout at the gym but I think I have to start doing stretches every morning. My body is aching and I have to listen! Have to be proactive with stuff like this as I have seen it too many times how people are struggling with their bodies and aches when they are getting older. We should be proactive with our mental health, physical health, spiritual health and all aspects of our well being.
I have noticed some changes in the school system where they are teaching more relevant life skills and the youth today are so much into global warming and it is warming my heart, to see how passionate they are about keeping mother earth healthy. Besides, I think we all have to keep an eye on delayed gratification and to practice patience in today's instant society. I have noticed that I can lack patience when standing in line for something and that is a sign of having everything in an instant. However as soon as I see mother nature and how beautiful she is I am back feeling grounded again, but that requires me to take the time and notice her, it does not just happen, I have to notice her beauty to feel centered again. Nature is key to happiness.
Start with giving yourself a break mentally and emotionally, stop beating yourself up for every little thing not going your way. Healthy Selfishness for me would be to take the float plan to IKEA and buy myself tons of Swedish treats but I will regret it afterwards as I did not struggle to get there this time (taking the ferry, drive in Vancouver, carry stuff, standing in line for the ferry back etc.). Sometimes I like to do it the hard way just to show myself how hard worker I am lol but that is taking the back seat the older I get. Having a great work ethic has always been one of my top values however I am becoming more relaxed about it.
I think having healthy selfishness is also about setting boundaries. When you stop validating yourself thru the eyes of others you are stepping into freedom living. We are not here to only please others, we are here to state our truth in a kind way and if the other person does not like the new and assertive you, then that is their problem, not yours. And giving jabs are a no no, practicing real communication where you have to be a little vulnerable is best otherwise you push them away.
Hopefully they will get back to you and open a new way of communicating as they can see you becoming stronger. It is not about being selfish, it is all about practicing healthy selfishness.
When you find a friend, partner and company with the same values as you, a strong connection will happen, and you don't want to give that up. A symphony is singing for your soul. What values are important to you?
Some days are harder to be tolerant of other people's behaviour. But maybe we could start talking about how we can become more tolerant? I have made many mistakes in my life and I felt really shitty afterward if I hurt others. So to be more tolerant of others’ behavior, we should remember that we all have faults. We have all made mistakes and felt guilty about some of them which has been a life long burden to carry at times. Indeed, people might just be predisposed toward certain behaviors due to their upbringing and environment. The best we can do is aim for understanding and tolerance.
Another thing we can't control is other people's opinion of us. No matter how much effort we put in, some people will find a flaw in what we do and form a negative opinion. And that is okay with me because I truly do not care what other people think of me (if they are not my immediate friends and family of course), that is the beauty of getting older :P. Knowing this, it’s best to stop seeking the approval of others and practice indifference toward their opinion.
Striving for other people's admiration means that they have power over us, pure and simple. Seeking the admiration of others also means having to adapt to other people's ideas of success. For example, if you think being successful is about being rich, you might have to spend your life trying to build a fortune to gain people's admiration, regardless of whether the money will ultimately make you happy.
My name is Annica Johansson and I am a Career and Talent Coach. I am writing about personal development, daily musings, spirituality and depicting mother nature's amazing beauty.