We all judge, I judge and I have judged fake people lately. Do I feel good by judging others, absolutely not, but the irritation and frustration are off my chest when I talk about things I do not like. And then I stop judging. I don't keep on judging after I have expressed my thoughts. When I judge fake people I know I am trying to be superior from them and pushing them away from me which is not a kind characteristic. I am pointing fingers on other people which I am very aware of. I try not to judge, I don't feel good when I judge and being judgemental is probably one of the attributes in a person I like the least. But I still judge especially when I feel judged, then the judgemental monster is right in front of me and I let it rip into others. Mostly because I feel hurt when people can't be real with me, I am hurt when people talk behind my back, and I feel like I waste time with people who are not straightforward.
And I am disappointed to find out that I have fake people in my friendship circle and that it took me such a long time to figure that out. Then I become very judgemental. I am working on not letting it take over when I am in the moment of judgment, I have to notice it, say hello to it and then let it go before it consumes me. It is a normal thing but I don't want to sit in that energy for long because I know how it looks and feels like when you hang out with people who are very critical.
I can't project that others should have the balls to be upfront with me instead of wasting their time behind my back. They are not ready to move in that direction and that is okay. But the problem with judgement is that it traps me in the problem. As I resist, the problem persists so therefore I forgive and move on.
In order to thrive you have to take care of your body, inside and outside. Take care of your physical and mental body. Physical health = stay healthy and fit. Get enough sleep, regular exercise, nature and eat. Mental health = stop worry = meditate, train your mind to stop analyze things you can’t control. Be at service for others... hands down the best solution to take care of your mental health.
Emotional and spiritual body. Eradicate negativity. You know, see the stop sign in your mind when you are being critical, replace negative thought with positive thought. Choose the here and now and stop the time travel. Being past or future focused will only lead to burn out. Take action and be in the moment. Pay attention to your surroundings, the architectural landscape and be in awe of what nature is providing us on a daily basis.
Change your daily routine, you can do it, take baby steps, start looking out at your kitchen window instead of inhaling your coffee in the car. Then step outside and stand watching the view at the deck while drinking your coffee, and then you can sit down at your patio having the coffee in the morning. Right now you have developed a new routine that you can stick to, and from here you continue inviting new things and take action.
I started to read some philosophy books and came a cross some musings from books. I am reading about Jean-Paul Sartre, (1905–1980) and he is commonly considered the father of Existentialist philosophy, whose writings set the tone for intellectual life in the decade immediately following the Second World War-(Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy). This is an interesting read as I think that we are somewhat predestined in life to do certain things. If you were supposed to be an author your would be guided to write and have an urge to write since you were young, which means that you had a contract to become an author before you were born. Existentialism is the opposite of that which is a very interesting thought. Then we have way more power to decide on how our lives should look like. Here is a short YouTube about his life.
Do you feel a lack of meaning and are you lacking in a sense of belonging. Do you live a purposeful life and are you contributing to the wider world. Do you want to be part of being at service on a wider scale? Then volunteer and do things that will benefit others. Or join the dragon boat paddling team. Or if you are an introvert, do not do anything at all. :P Happy midsummer everyone! <3
How much time do we spend on things that hurts us? How much time do we think on a daily basis that we are not good enough? Where does all of that come from? Did somebody tell you that you will not do anything special with your life? How much will you succumb to your inner critic and when will you give yourself a break?
Take a moment to think about the things that cause you emotional pain. How much time and energy do you spend dwelling on them, and has it changed anything? One question: Would your life be better if it didn’t contain the stress, anger and sadness associated with that pain? Picture the source of your pain – the situation that your mind wants to resist. Once you’ve got that image in your head, take a deep breath and focus your mind on consciously choosing to accept it unconditionally. The message here is to make peace with your emotional pain. Take another deep breath and tell the pain that you love it and accept it unconditionally, it is time to let the pain be part of you and not sit in resistance anymore. Stop fighting, relax your shoulders and let it go for this minute at least. If that doesn’t work right away, try again tomorrow – eventually you’ll find that the pain will diminish as you embrace its unalterable reality.
Imagine your life being like a blank canvas. What would your life look like? How would you paint your life if you could start all over? I do not want to change anything in my life, so my focus will be staying in the present. How do I feel right now? Well, I feel a little bit ungrounded, not fully focused because I have a few things I want to finalize and organize so I can prepare for the next steps. I need to know if K and I are going to participate in the night market in Nanaimo. If that is the case we have a lot of things to do before the scheduled dates. Eeeeek.
As I am driving home from Hope I see different bridges all over Vancouver. They are beautifully made and esthetically pleasing, which surprised me. Obviously, I haven't seen a bridge for a while lol! These bridges inspire me and are a huge reminder of how to overcome obstacles. A bridge is strong, independent, beautiful with a lot of grace! That's how I felt when I saw these bridges, and I was craving more of it, I wanted to park and just look at them but I couldn't as I was flowing with the traffic and was en route catching the ferry back home.
I could see a love story unfolding looking at the bridges. It gives reassurance to the lovers holding hands, shows hope to many and maybe consolidate the recently broken up lovers. The bridge connects, physically. It unites the divided. It makes one of what had been two. I can see poetry unfolding watching the bridges and I did not have a clue I had these feelings inside. Funny.
“Values are the operating principles that guide every decision you make."
What are your values? Do you know what kind you hold dear to your heart and are you actually living your values? The values that you so proud of speaking of? Do you follow them?
Understanding your values is part of being self-aware. When you live and work in congruence with your values you will become a more confident person. Every time you do not follow your values your confidence will be knocked down a few levels. When you make a decision not to follow your values you will probably feel a little bit guilty for a while - and as a result you will beat yourself up.
Find a quiet place to sit and think about what you value. Write down your top 5 values. Frequently ask yourself if you are living up to your top 5 values?
“The willingness to experience and accept our feelings carries no implication that emotions are to have the last word on what we do. I may not be in the mood to work today; I can acknowledge my feelings, experience them, accept them—and then go to work. I will work with a clearer mind because I have not begun the day with self-deception.To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals—to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be—and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.” N. Branden
Focus on what makes you feel good and lights you up! What inspires you the most in life, go there and do more of that.
My name is Annica Johansson and I am a Career and Talent Coach. I am writing about personal development, daily musings, spirituality and depicting mother nature's amazing beauty.