If you think everyone is out to get you, you will attract people that are after your ass. As simple as that. But...I would not focus on the negative because why do I want to attract negative people. So shift your thinking and start to expect a positive outcome. It works amazingly well.
5 tips to attract positive outcomes:
1. Treat others as you want to be treated. It is pretty simple so stop the road rage, it is a total waste of time getting angry in traffic and it only creates anxious energy. And don't act like you are surprised that nobody likes to hang around you as you will probably transmit that energy for the rest of the day. Focus on your thoughts, stop the negative ones and replace it with being thankful for something.
2. Stop right at this moment, focus on that bee or ant that is crawling up your table or observe the flowers outside your window, just observe it for a while. This is how you stay present and make sure you give thanks to beautiful Mother earth for giving us exceptional beauty to enjoy.
3. LEARN to have more positive thoughts. Stop, replace negative thought with something you are grateful for.
4. Let go of the past and trying to be in control of your future. By all means, take action towards meeting your goals but you also have to take a breather of analyzing and paralyzing everything. Let go and let the universe work for you.
5. Detach yourself to the outcome. After you have taken the action steps required to move closer to your goal you have to at some point stop dwelling on the outcome. Literally, see yourself give your worries to the universe with stretched up arms as you release it to the sky.
6. Invite higher power and it could be as simple as a prayer. Just pray.
Make a decision to do the hardest things in the morning. Sit down and attack that report you have had hanging over you for weeks and get it done. When you focus on the hardest tasks in the morning you are making room for the unexpected. You just created space for emergencies and meetings that may pop up on the radar and having some extra time in your schedule will help you feel less stressed out.
When I was modelling on a consistent basis I had to make sure that I was fit and in shape. I had already developed a routine on how to stay in shape while living in Sweden and I got up early in the morning and went to the gym and sometimes I stopped by after work. Exercising was part of my everyday life, and I could not imagine not doing it as I developed a routine that I had to fulfill in order to be and feel happy. By doing it in the morning I made room for other activities and sometimes I ended up going for a walk after work which made me feel even better. I just have to get back to this solid routine today lol, I know I can do it but it is very hard to make it last. I am lacking the dedication I had when I was younger to go to the gym and as I am getting older I don't care as much. Many times I am ending up having a temper tantrum towards myself which is kind of funny in itself to observe.
Karen has been on my mind a LOT lately. I met her in a retail store where she helped me find a dress for some kind of an occasion, can't remember what but she made an impression on me. She was so amazingly lovely, going outside the normal customer service experience person and I never forgot her because of that. I met her a few months later and we decided to go out for a drink and have some laughs. I was new to Canada and just ended a relationship with my then boyfriend so I needed some cheering up and so did she. We had some crazy going out evenings and one I will never forget when we got stopped by the police and they were asking us if we had something to drink and we both said no. She was driving and she was fine but I was sooooo drunk, however, they let us continue driving home. I rented a room from her after my breakup and it was an amazing neighbourhood and an amazing decorated home. I felt I scored big times. Several years later I bought a condo in the same building she lived in. I will never forget Karen because she was so happy go lucky, so positive and always displaying a very cheerful attitude....But man was I wrong...
Karen was in deep pain due to having to display a false personality of false happiness all of her life and she never really discussed her true feelings. And it literally killed her. She drank 2 litres of cider each and every day to kill her pain. She was not able to continue doing it and she died on her couch with a 2 litre of cider beside her on the living room table. I was devastated hearing this as I did not know she was in pain. I don't blame myself as she was a true actor of masking it but I am extremely annoyed seeing people trying to fake a perfect life when they actually are hurting deep inside. Stay real my friends and reach out for help. I wish I could have helped Karen, she was a beautiful soul.
I really like original artwork especially when a very talented friend of mine painted it. Here is a painting by my friend Janet who is part of the Heartworkers group. www.heartworkers.ca. I decided to buy this painting as it reminded me of how relationships works, it is a dual dance in motion ways of living. Relationships are all about a dance, intimate dance, the dance of intimacy. An action creates a reaction and if you get hurt by your partner's action how do you react?
Open communication where you can create safety and trust is important and it should be one of the pillars when you pour the relationship concrete. You can't be too demanding on how you want to communicate as that may scare people away but at the same time you want to relay your needs and set some boundaries in the beginning otherwise it will be easy to just go with the flow and then it feels too contrived to start communicate about things you never spoken about before. Relationships are also about give and take, where do you thrive and where do your partner lack skills etc., and be mindful of each other's strengths and weaknesses. I try not to cast judgement so fast as one of my mantras that has saved my face many times is: There is always a reason for a person's behaviour, find out the reason behind that behaviour and you will have a story of pain. I find myself being a good communicator and I have an ability to create safety where people can express themselves openly but I am not frustrated if my partner does not have the same ability. That's just life at times and as time goes by without judging people they will come around, open up and become more transparent. If not, you have to open the door to communication as it will not change until you have a conversation about it. Usually, both sides will appreciate the talk.
Hard ships, negative thoughts, no way out? One of my exes once said that I have a positivity chip implanted in my brain which could be true however I find life being a balance between dark and light. I think all humanity are walking a thin line of falling into despair and then finding ourselves crawling towards the light where we may stay for a while. And so it goes, back and forth, like a pendulum and as they say: "this too shall pass". Everything is not constant and life is always changing and remembering this makes us more humble. Humble to appreciate what we have, what we want and to make a plan that will move us towards our dreams. Action creates happiness because staying put on your couch will not change anything and most of the time we will dwell on things were we will always loose at the end, like we are dwelling and analyzing, paralyzing things until we see ourselves always being the loser in our story. When you rise from the couch and maybe go for a walk in nature there are so many different things you can do and your subconscious may lead the way to take you on a more positive story line then the one you had in your comfort zone. And it is always hard to get going but you know how great you will feel after you completed the task, walk or any other action item so go ahead and just grab your life by its horns as you are the leader in your life. Do not let you brain have so much power over you that you have to succumb to those negative thoughts, show your brain who is the boss!
My name is Annica Johansson and I am a Career and Talent Coach. I am writing about personal development, daily musings, spirituality and depicting mother nature's amazing beauty.