'Adlerian therapy is a short-term, goal-oriented, and positive psycho dynamic therapy based on the theories of Alfred Adler—a one-time colleague of Sigmund Freud. Adlerian therapy focuses on the development of individual personality while understanding and accepting the interconnections of all humans.' -Psychology Today. Adlerian therapy was one of my favourite psychology therapies when I went to school.
You know that our social circles are made up of all sorts of character types and personalities. The easiest definition is the one between optimists and pessimists. We all know them, and we might think that their personalities are fixed, traditional psychology has encouraged us to think like that. But I don't think our personalities are fixed just like the Adlerian psychology highlights. The term lifestyle is used in Adlerian psychology to describe what traditional psychology refers to as character or personality.
Adler claimed that we actively choose our lifestyles and worldviews around the age of ten. This decision is based on previous life experiences, both positive and negative.
Think of all the people that you know who talk a lot about their unhappiness, and how they want their lives to be different. You might get the impression that they do want to change, but actually the reverse is true. According to the research I did around Adlerian psychology, if people really wanted things to be different, they would have done something about it already. And I have to agree as I have seen this kind of behaviour over and over and over again as a coach. People talk about change but they do not show a plan of action and if they do have a plan they usually do not act on it. People may dislike their current situations, but at least they are comfortable knowing what they’re dealing with and change, on the other hand, requires courage, work, work and some more work. Being self-aware comes with a price, you have to do a lot of purging and learning on how you work and what your triggers are. All of this is hard work! And you have to be ready to face the unknown, and of course, the possibility that you may fail.
The classic case is the unhappy single person. She has been alone for years, but she can’t build up the courage to get out there and meet new people. Networking and socializing are too much for her, let alone dating. We all get set in our ways and in some ways attached to our solitude and unhappiness and better the devil you know than the risk of getting hurt. I wish we could all ease up a little around rejection, it happens to everyone, who cares, move on and create the life you want. But I should not judge, I remember how hard it was when I was dating and looking for somebody and I wanted to throw in the towel so many times.
My name is Annica Johansson and I am a Career and Talent Coach. I am writing about personal development, daily musings, spirituality and depicting mother nature's amazing beauty.